Lies... All Lies!

I'm not sure what it really means to say 'News Corp. Reaches deal to buy Dow Jones' in the headline and yet say News Corp.'s big man Rupert Murdoch 'must still win over the company's controlling shareholders.' As far as I know, the Bancroft family (Dow Jones' big men and women) vehemently denied any sale of Dow and the Wall Street Journal to Murdoch would ever happen. Apparently Murdoch has reached a 'tentative agreement' with Dow's CEO for a $5b buy-out, but that doesn't mean anything... I think it's tentative in that the shareholders (the Bancroft family) are the ones who write the checks and make the decisions. I'd like to see the Wall Street Journal remain free from the grasp of News Corp, but I'm honestly not too confident that'll happen.

I'm not too sure I want the same company that owns perhaps two of the most evil things on this planet -- MySpace and Fox News -- to own the oldest stock index in the country. I guess Murdoch's timing is great, though... the Dow's 'stock' has never been higher. Get it?

Read about Murdoch's tentative take-over here.

*** UPDATE:Well shit.

Rodhamgate

A lot of people are getting hyped up over a 'secret' conversation between Hillary Clinton and John Edwards at the close of an NAACP forum yesterday in Detroit. Apparently the mic was left on while Clinton and Edwards lamented the fact that they only get 60 seconds to sum up their opinions on important issues because there are so many candidates taking part in debates, and they mentioned the possibility of thinning out the herd a bit. 'Our guys should talk,' says Clinton. Sounds like she's putting a hit on Kucinich or something.

Sidenote: OH GOD BARACK USED NOTES. OH WAIT THATS ALLOWED. nm jk.

Anyway, if you read what they said, I don't even get what they're talking about or that they want some of the lesser candidates to bow out. Media hype I suspect, since Paris Hilton has been quiet for a while or something.

With all the Hillary coverage (and her lapdog Bill following her around), I thought I heard an MSNBC anchor refer to them as 'Billary.' She didn't... but I still think it's clever. So I came across this website: http://www.billaryforpresident.com/.



Ahh... brings back memories.

Hungry? Not anymore

If you love dim sum, this story's for you! Some Chinese restaurants have a new item just added to their menu: delicious pork dumplings, steamed to perfection, and they're even bigger and 'meatier' than what you can get in Chinatown! Mmmmm...

So what's the beef (or pork)? A Beijing TV station says some Chinese food manufacturers are using 'unsavory' ingredients in their brand of dumplings. You know, just your everyday dumpling of fatty pork, powdered seasoning, and chopped-up cardboard. Apparently it cuts costs, and customers don't notice the difference. At least cardboard is high in fiber.

Read the full article here.

Math for Terrorists

It's summer, and since many children are out of school, I thought a couple of math exercises today might help stimulate the neurons.

The first lesson is from our 8th grade Algebra books:

President Bush's approval rating
is inversely proportional to
the current threat of a terrorist attack on the United States

'Breaking News' right now on the CNN homepage reads (beneath a picture of our good friend Osama bin Laden):

Al Qaeda is stepping up its efforts to sneak terror operatives into the United States and has acquired most of the capabilities it needs to strike here, according to a new U.S. intelligence assessment, The Associated Press has learned.

'Stepping up its efforts.' I guess al-Qaida was just kickin' it old school in Pakistan, Afghanistan, and Uzbekistan ("ASSHOLES!") since their last strike, drinkin' fawties and rollin' fatties.

There's nothing like an overblown threat of terror to get people to forget about the shortcomings of the Bush administration. In case you were still asleep this morning during the announcement, at 7:15 PST President Bush unveiled the results of a broad (yet 'initial') assessment of the current situation in Iraq, with regard to U.S. troop involvement, extremist violence, and the Iraqi government's ability to handle its own, among other things.

Congress outlined 18 benchmarks on which the President was to give his thumbs-up or thumbs-down to (whether progress in each area was 'Satisfactory' or not) by the deadline of this Sunday, July 15, 2007. In a shocking move by the Executive Branch, the President actually obeyed Congress this time, and even beat the deadline by three days!

Out of 18 benchmarks, only 8 were deemed 'Satisfactory.' In the President's words, this is a 'cause for optimism.'

Ready for Math lesson #2 for today? We'll go simpler than algebra, back to 2nd grade arithmetic:

8 ÷ 18 = 44.44% = FAIL

8 out of 18 is definitely not a cause for optimism. Unless you're optimisitic about failing.

Read the entire 'Initial Benchmark Assessment Report' on Iraq (.pdf)

Attack of the Clones

It's summer, and that means two things: 1) The western half of the U.S. is on fire, and 2) TV sucks.

Tuesday night saw the premiere of NBC's 'The Singing Bee'; I didn't watch, but I think my mom summed it up well enough: "Oh My God! I think I have found the new worst show." Anything hosted by Joey "The Fat One" Fatone has gotta be bad.

Not to be outdone, Fox struck back last night (and will strike again tonight) with it's own rendition. I think they need to spend some more time coming up with catchier names for their shows, quite honestly.

'Don't Forget the Lyrics!,' hosted by Wayne Brady, a man who never forgets the lyrics, is on Fox tonight at 8:30 if you're interested. Which you shouldn't be. Shame on you for even reading this.

'(In) The End' of Live Earth

Just days after Mr. Gore's son took the whole "go green" message a bit too far, the former VP's real child, Live Earth, is now under way. I realize Gore's bday isn't really 7/7/07, but it might as well be, so he could have even more to celebrate about. Among the 100 bands playing in today's 24 hour, pancontinental concierto include The Police, Foo Fighters, Kelly Clarkson, and Enrique.

I just thought it kinda crass and a bit hypocritical that Linkin Park's set, when they played Japan just hours ago, closed with "In The End." I'm sure this is the message Al Gore wanted to send to the world about climate change:

"I tried so hard, and got so far, but in the end it doesn't even matter."

When Journalists Attack!

MSNBC's Mika Brzezinski is flaming mad at all the Paris Hilton coverage. So mad in fact, she tries to set her script on fire during Morning Joe. And who says journalism has gotten soft? She's trying to burn down the frickin studio! I feel bad for the producer though, but he should know better... shouldn't he?

Paris Hilton is a Terrorist

Sure, some might say the TD messed up. But I think it was a scorned producer's last hurrah. Either way, Paris Hilton is a terrorist, no matter how you slice it. Just ask Rick Salomon about the 'Terror From Within.'