It worked in Iraq. I think.

Five years ago, President Bush sent U.S. soldiers to the Middle East to play soccer with Iraqi school children. When it became increasingly evident that Americans suck at soccer, a plan was developed to bolster our offensive. So, some 20,000 extra fullbacks, halfbacks, forwards, and goalkeepers were sent overseas to help. This increase in footballers is commonly referred to as "the surge."

So basically, the government realized the current plan of action wasn't working, and decided the solution was to do more of the same. And look where that got us: only 1,100 American troops have died since the surge was announced!

On Wall Street, investors and lenders have been digging themselves into a hole for a lot longer than five years. So what does the government do? Give them $700 billion in relief, amounting to millions of dollars in payout salaries for the CEOs of the companies that got us into this mess.

But if the surge worked in Iraq, it must work on Wall Street, right?

More (and Simpler) Math Lessons, Since No One Learned from Last Week's

Our previous lesson taught us about the inverse relationship between President Bush's job performance and the 'threat' of terrorism in the U.S. Today we'll learn about Positive Correlation with respect to the War of on Terror:
Congressional Democratic efforts to stop the War in Iraq
are positively correlated to
'Successes' in the War in Iraq
Last night, Senate Democrats, in true college fashion, pulled an all-nighter discussing the war. Cots were rolled out and set up and everything. Yay slumber parties!

But wait! Just as the American public began to think Congress was actually doing its job by ending this war... on the other side of the Potomac, the Pentagon today announced the capture of 'the most senior Iraqi in al Qaeda in Iraq'! A MAJOR VICTORY IN THE WAR ON TERROR! What are these Democrats talking about?? We must be winning the war if we were able to capture the head of al Qaeda in Iraq, right? Hmm.. that story conveniently pushes the 24 hour debate off the front page of CNN. Turns out we captured the guy two weeks ago, but I guess the White House was just waiting for the right time to tell us.

Here's the kicker:

The declassified portion of the National Intelligence Estimate (NIE) warns of "a persistent and evolving terrorist threat over the next three years" from Islamic terrorist groups, namely al Qaeda.

Math Lesson #4
This Year (2007) + 3 years = 2010

What else (besides another terror attack, of course) will happen 'over the next three years'? Step aside, Nostradamus. I predict BIG threats to the nation on the following days:

November 4, 2008 & November 2, 2010.